Tuesday, May 25, 2010

"Calisthenica" or "Exertionis"

If people can eat, walk, have sex, fight, drive, and talk while they are blissfully sleeping, can we also sleep work out?

I'd like to sign up for one of those exercise classes. I know I could fit it into my schedule. I wouldn't have to line up a babysitter or work around my husband's schedule. I could choose a different style of exercise each night, and never get tired of it. (oh, ha ha. good pun.) And I could have loads of different coaches and instructors and trainers - maybe Johnny Depp one night for fun and my high school gym teacher, Mr. Sprute, for fear and degradation on another.

I think I've really stumbled onto to something here! Maybe I could work with the scientists who design those fabulous sleep aides that produce the dangerous, embarrassing, and fattening side effects and have them tweak those effects a bit.

I think there'd be some serious lines at the clinics around town if we saw commercials promoting "Calisthenica" or "Exertionis" sleep aides if a strong side effect was participation in an hour-long spin class while remaining asleep.

Can't you just see the commercials now? Roundish adults with sleep disorders drifting off to sleep in a softly lit, white room. Upon waking, they see a suddenly slimmer self in the mirror, well rested with tight abs to boot!

I've gotta get ahold of some of those pharmaceutical companies and have a chat with those researchers. There's gotta be some combination that would get us there. Somehow.

Or maybe I'll just sleep on it.

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