See the Good

I have a great Dad. We seem to think the same way; have a similar life view; are both mostly happy go lucky with a tinge of the macabre. I have always enjoyed being around my dad, okay, maybe for a few years during my teens neither of my parents were really on the top of my list of people to hang out with, but the forced contact was usually quite nice.

My dad was recently in a pretty serious car accident, and while the doctors were checking him over with tests and scans, they discovered that 1) he was relatively unharmed by the accident while his truck was totaled and 2) he had a cancerous tumor on one of his kidneys. What? I guess doctors don't usually discover this type of cancer until it has spread and taken over other areas of the body, so his car accident was really a miracle.

We talked on the phone tonight - mostly about my little family's trip to the U.P. of Michigan (WOW! So amazing! More on that later) - but we also talked about faith and religion. About how so many people in our world use religion to tear others down and spread hurt and fear. My dad is such a wise and loving person; such a good role model; such a great person to talk to.

The subject of hatred and fear through religion keep coming up for me lately.

I just read the weekly email from our church and this is what is read:
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear.

1 John 4:18

"Amor omnia vincit. This old Latin saying means, "Love overcomes all things." There is no obstacle or any destructive force so great that love cannot overcome it. I am reminded of the words of the old French carol, "Now the Green Blade Rises" - a song that speaks of Jesus as a grain of wheat:

In the grave they laid him,
Love by hatred slain,
thinking that he would
never wake again,
laid in the earth
like grain that sleeps unseen:
Love is come again like wheat arising green.

Hatred is one power in this world that seeks to slay love. The rest of the carol is equally vivid in its description of other destructive forces in our lives: grief, pain, and, as 1 John points out, fear. But the power of love is pure and indestructible. The resurrection was proof of that. Perfect love casts out not only fear, but hatred, grief, and pain. The final line of each verse of the carol offers vivid testimony: no matter what we face in life,
"Love is come again, like wheat arising green."
Love overcomes all things.

Prayer: Lord Jesus, sometimes the harsh realities of life make me fearful and anxious. Thank you that your love always springs up in my life and gives me hope. Amen."

I'm still not sure if the faith that I have, the love that I share or the prayers that I give truly define me as a Christian, but tonight I know that I don't care one lick about what I am defined as by others. I know that the peace I feel in my heart is the way I determine how well I am following the path the God I believe in has set before me. I know that everyone has the opportunity for that peace and joy - and by everyone I mean every single person on Earth. Christian, Jew, Muslim, Hindu, Buddhist, Athiest, Agnostic, or in search of a flock.

However you see Jesus' role in human history, most agree that he was a great man who shared love and respect with everyone he came across in his short life. Man, that is so difficult! But it's a good example to strive for. See the good in everyone. A new mantra for my meditations. Especially when I find myself bristling against someone - see the good.

I hope others return the favor. (Thanks Dad)

always the questioner

Here's the back story on what I'm thinking about...

I have always been intrigued by logic. In college, I loved my Logics class and the use of the "If, then" statements in arguments. i.e. If my paycheck arrives, then I can buy food. The whole concept of logic just helps me to make better sense of the crazy world I live in. At least sort of.

I was raised Catholic. I come from a LONG line of Catholics, such that it was considered "racy" to marry someone NOT Catholic. I have always considered myself to be a Christian, though I question many facets of Christianity and uphold, even celebrate, the value and integrity of those who are not Christians. I attend Lutheran church services fairly regularly. I share Bible stories with my children and talk about my faith in God, along with my own questions. I pray so often it could be considered an almost constant conversation.

So at my latest mother's group meeting (which is held at my church, thank you very much) a mom shared her testimony about how God has touched her life. To shorten it a bit, she shared how her family of origin failed to give her love, support and hope for her future. She shared how people outside of her family reached out to her and shared their faith in God, and gave her the chance to find her own faith in God through Christianity. Her testimony was beautiful. But she made a few comments that have put my mind to work on this logic these last few days.

She read a passage out of the book of Romans that spoke to how reading the Bible and living by the Bible made you a Christian (along with taking Jesus as Lord and all that). She said that if you didn't study the bible, and just lived by your own interpretation of God, then you were worshiping idols or false gods. Hmmm...


Now I haven't read any large sections of the Bible in years. I have read the entire Bible a few times, so it's not like it's foreign to me. But I have never studied it and find that thought a bit abhorrent. My parents fought over many, many things before they divorced, and religion and the Bible were a common favorite. And I think parts of Catholicism go against putting all your "eggs" in the basket of studying the Bible. (There are all those cool religious traditions and high holy days and confession and venial and mortal sins and limbo and penance...that might get lost in the varying translations of the big book.) So I think I have a bit of a grudge against the book. I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing. There have been plenty of "books" not published in all the bibles that were there in the beginning collections and each "version" paints a different picture of how life was and now should be. So who am I to say that the book I currently have on my bookshelf is everything God wants me to know about life?

So I question, Am I really a Christian?

I do believe that Jesus died on the cross for me and for all humans. But I know that, if I were born into a family of another religion, I would live by that religion instead. I believe that Buddha also had a divine connection to bring understanding and enlightenment to the people on Earth. I pray to God each day, but don't believe that those who are not Christians will not be allowed into whatever wonderful afterlife there might be. I believe that Muhammad was a divine prophet and his message connects everyone on Earth to the goodness and hope that faith in God brings. I also hold valuable the concept of reincarnation - the chance to come back to Earth many times and work towards a better life. And I believe that humans are fallible. That even those who seek to bring joy, hope and love to others through the messages of a religion should be questioned and never taken as a divine messenger.

So does my open heart and mind mean that I am not a Christian?

Can a Christian study or think about only the Bible passages that come up in church services or other discussions and not the whole book?

Can a Christian know in their heart that being a good and honest person; being one who works a lifetime of service toward others; being a person who shares ones gifts and talents; being a person who takes time each day to appreciate and protect the beauty that surrounds us in both nature and in other people, that these qualities are more important than reading and studying a book that has so many versions, and so many conflicts within its pages?

I walked away from Catholicism because of the falsehoods I found in the religion and the contrasting realities of life. I will always be a Catholic as a sort of birthright. I now practice Catholic-light, or Lutheran Christianity. Maybe I'm really just practicing, but even if I'm not really a Christian, I am a blessed child of God, in whatever form that it is.

And I know in my heart, that the woman who shared this path of thought was celebrating something good in her own life, and not condemning something in my own. But damn it, it sure felt like it.

"Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense." ~Buddha

Ah, Buddha. He must have had a divine connection to God, Jehovah, Allah, the Creator, to share such wisdom. His words always give me peace. Not always direct answers, but peace none the less.

So Christian or not, I am always thankful for today. Thankful for the beauty that surrounds me. Thankful for my ability and opportunities to share love with others. Thankful that I have a strong connection with my Creator. And someday, to have a joyful connection to all the books written in God's name.